The Sweetness

Ok, seriously, the sweetness of this child can absolutely squeeze my heart. I was going to say "cracked" but I don't want to imply in any way that she breaks my heart, but she does sometimes make it twist in my chest like it has been squeezed--just ache in the most amazing, love-filled way. My children do that to me. It is absolutely one of the BEST things about being a mom. My children never cease to amaze me. Especially when I take the time to really see them to let that squeeze of the heart really settle into my brain and heart. Don't run from this ache, it is important. The other night, I was reading to Rowan and Josie in the girls' beds (Delise and her family were here visiting) and Rowan had fallen asleep and I read a paragraph or two more to make sure Josie also succumbed to dreamland. I got up from Rowan's side, gave her a kiss, and started to leave. She grabbed my arm and said, "Wait, Mom, wait, wait. Please." I was a little startled because she had been asleep, in fact her eyes were still closed and she had that sleepy mumble in her voice. "What, honey?" "Mom, I forgot to say my prayers." Me: "It's ok, sweetheart, tonight just go ahead and say them in your bed, lying down." Rowan: "No, Mom, I can't I'm too sleepy. Could you please say them for me?" So I did. Holding her hands and speaking aloud. When I finished, she let go of my hands and I kissed her sweet little face again and left the room with a tear or two flooding my eyes. What a sweet example. I don't think she misses a night of saying her prayers, even without being reminded. How many adults can say that? I can't. I guess that's one of the reasons it is so important. My kids teach me every day. I can only rededicate myself to praying regularly and thank my Heavenly Father for the chance to be humbled by these strong, sweet, sparkling spirits that I have been given the opportunity to rear. Boy, do I need His help. I'll never be able to keep up with them without HIS help. And I have such a responsibility to help them to not lose those beautiful gifts with which they were born. I've known since I first became a Mom that, for me, the challenge is always going to be just not to mess up the fabulous people they already are and support and encourage them. And, most of all, LOVE them. The only one I am reassured on is that I love them. With all of me. And I keep trying to work on the other things. I THINK I support and encourage. But I am equally certain I am capable of making mistakes. Just hope I don't leave too deep a dent. Love you. So grateful. So blessed.